Brouhaha that’s the word to use and the word that came to mind when the recent Time article and cover “Are You Mom Enough” generated such a sh!tstorm of controversy that polarized parents, especially moms once again.

Personally, I found the question, “Are You Mom Enough?” offensive and it placed me on the defensive.  It forced the whole issue of  motherhood and parenting into a simple Yes or No answer. The question posed a challenge — Are you doing enough for your family? As a mom with a full-time job that sees me working away from my kid for 12 hours a day this question was harsh. Nice work Time. Happy Mother’s Day to your moms too. Moms actively discussed the cover and the question online and it brought to light a parenting theory that most moms of my generation have adhered to.

The Time article got people talking about Attachment Parenting  (AP) and Extended Breastfeeding. I never breastfed DW (my story here) which is number  2 in the 7 Basic Baby B’s of AP but I soon realized that BDW and I are actually practicing some of the basic tenets of this parenting philosophy.

I recently found a video about Attachment Parenting and I figured that the 7 Baby B’s are really commonsensical basics.

The 7 Basic B’s are:

Birth Bonding, Breastfeeding, Babywearing, Bedding Close to Baby, Belief in the Language of Your Baby’s Cry, Beware of Baby Trainers and Balance

Co-sleeping? Check. I grew up co-sleeping with my parents. My brothers and I slept in one room with our folks until I was old enough to have my own room which was awful because a cat would always perch itself outside my window and stare at me creepy, stalker cat! My brothers and I were all breastfed too.

As for DW. Well, we co-sleep with DW. He has a toddler bed of his own but he still always creeps up to our bed in the middle of the night declaring “I want to stay in the middle”.  I used a sling once but DW wanted to be carried by everybody. There was a time that we actually thought twice about buying an umbrella stroller because DW probably wouldn’t stay in it anyway.

Here’s the video I found about AP which is a great way to sum up the technique.

A recent interview by Stefanie Wilder Tyler of Dr. Sears, the attachment parenting guru also brought to light the realities of AP. When Dr. Sears was asked about those that have taken AP to the extreme, he says

We’ve been very misquoted and misunderstood. Our goal is to convince moms and dads that this is a long-term investment. Our attachment advice is a way to give mothers back parenting experience that the years of detachment advice has taken away.

The rest of the interview is here.

I guess the underlying principle of Attachment Parenting is to listen to yourself and your kid’s cues and to respond appropriately. The style is instinctive. Not to trivialize how hard parenting is but sometimes listening to your gut is the best right? Follow your intuition I say. But even with the emphasis on AP in discussions as a result of the Time cover, it also got people talking on other parenting styles and the only conclusion to all that talk is that there is no one type that works for parents and children. Heck for different kids in the same family, different styles could  work.  To each his own most definitely as long as the goal is a loving and hopefully a relationship between mom and child.

After all the brouhaha that ensued what stood out really is how significant moms are in molding future generations and how the parenting choices we make create waves that impact society in the long-term. If this is the “burden”  (for lack of a better word) that moms willingly bear shouldn’t we be supported and encouraged? Battle lines should not be drawn and questions like “are you mom enough” should not be asked period.  Maybe what we should be asked is “how can we help you?”

How about you? How did you react when you first saw the Time cover? I would love to know your thoughts and  your reactions!

Or in DW’s case, he slept for 3 hours while waiting for me. Lulled by the clacking of my fingers on my keyboard.

DW pushed the two chairs together himself and climbed over. He made a makeshift bed. I had a couple of pillows at my own chair and placed a large batik blanket over him.  He slept without care. Our office is THAT quiet.

And here he is at the Expo. Dancing!

Silly DW. Thanks for always brightening up our days and for always waiting up for us. We do this all for you Love you!!

The #RealMom campaign features (from left to right) fabulous mom bloggers and mompreneurs Kris who blogs at OcMominManila.com and tweets as @ocmominmanila, Eli of Painterswife.com and @painterswifeph, Paola of MommyTreats and @mommy_treats and Martine of Daintymom.com and @dainty_mom

Each mom has her own poster with her own #RealMom statement. The statements highlight the fact that all of us moms are so different but we are all the same in our goal of loving and nurturing our families in the best way we can.I can attest to these moms’ statements. You can’t get any more real than these guys. Having a blog means baring a part of your soul to the public and these moms have all shared their trials, wins and more importantly their learnings all in their own blogs.

The individual posters can be found after the cut.

you may click on the posters to enlarge

Paola

Martine

Kris

Eli

Mommy Matters is co-owned by Janice Villanueva, a mompreneur who runs MommyMundo who is behind Expo Mom, Expo Kid, Pregnant Pause, Mommmy Milkshake Marathon and the free zines Urban Mom and the free directory, Mommy Pages among many others.  Mommy Matters is a brand of stylish and comfortable nursing wear. These #RealMoms are all breastfeeding their little ones currently

I love how her company is so supportive of other moms. Janice and crew, I salute you all in this really wonderful campaign!

To Kris, Eli, Paola and Martine cheers to spreading the #RealMom manifesto!! You guys rock!

How about you? What’s your Real Mom statement? Post it at the Mommy Matters facebook page here   or tweet it to @MommyMattersph with the hashtag #RealMom

As for me my #RealMom statement is:

Being a mom is like being in a one-woman circus and sometimes the most important role you have to play is that of a clown