Christine Foong Wong , Parenting and the Trauma of Love

I attended a parenting talk last week that was unlike any of those that I have attended and listened to. It was deeply moving and it disturbed me — in a good way. It made me rethink what I thought I already know about myself and it made me realize that there are still parts of myself that I have yet to tap and face.

The talk I attended was by Christine Foong Wong. It was a Tuesday night, a work night but I hitched a ride with a friend to the lovely Baron 3 Gardens function hall in San Juan because I knew if I missed this talk that I would be missing another opportunity to learn more about myself. My end goal really is to be a better parent to David and Noah and if there are seminars and talks out there to help me know myself better then I am all for it!

Christine is a renowned Psychotrauma Therapist from Singapore who trained under Franz Ruppert who pioneered the study of Multi-Generational Psychotraumatology (MPT). MPT believes that there is more to what makes us “tick” than what our conscious and subconscious selves have shown us. One of the examples Christine gave during the talk is how we all walk around with Big Blazing Red Buttons that when pushed, makes us act, react and feel in certain ways that we really can’t explain. The “why” may lie hidden in our unconscious where our trauma lies.

Christine further explains trauma in her Facebook page, System of the Heart as:

What is trauma?

Usually when we talk about trauma what comes to our minds are natural disasters, accidents by car or plane or violence among human beings. The more hidden traumas that come from people we love and those who take care of us are less known and talked about. These traumas are called ”Trauma of Love” that is best illustrated in the following ways:

1. Inherited trauma from our parents and their family lineage, transferred through the attachment process between parents and child, and has its effect in several generations.

2.Primal trauma, i.e. happen very early in our lives (peri-pre and post natal trauma)and interrupts our relationships, these traumas area also a result from the attachment process between the child and its parents.

The effect of this two types of trauma are usually hidden in our unconscious mind and from there goes into our tissue and our emotionally life, steers how we feel and how we interact with others.

One of the slides that underscored how we survive these relational traumas show we split into three when we are faced with trauma and it is how we are able to carry on. This trauma may have occurred when we were kids and may have been passed on by older generations who were unaware of their own traumas and so the cycle just kept going without anyone knowing. It is being passed on and no one can’t explain why certain hurtful and painful things keep repeating in one’s life.

I know ang bigat diba. It was really a heady night for me. There were so much truth in Christine’s talk and I know that I can trace some of the hurt that I carry this day from traumas I have experienced and “survived” in childhood.

Christine will be holding a one-day workshop on June 27 and help us uncover our traumas, which without us knowing have stopped us from growing, from moving on, and from forging healthy bonding relationships with our children, our partners and ourselves. The ideal result really would be that we are able to face and process our trauma so that we are able to stop the cycle of MPT and that our kids would not have to bear our own silent sufferings.

Here’s Christine and her mentor Rupert Franz talking more about how our childhood traumas affect us and how we parent. Do take time to listen, it’s really interesting and an eye-opener:

I would love to attend Christine’s workshop with Dan. It’s an investment for our family and ourselves too. Unfortunately Noah’s PTC with all his therapists is on Saturday. I do hope Christine comes back to Manila!

But if you know and you feel that you and your parenting partner will benefit from Christine’s seminar please please sign up for Saturday!! She has generously extended a discount to Manilamommy readers so that a couple can attend the seminar for only 6,500 (the original price is only 8,000) Please register here http://bit.ly/kidtrauma and enter Manilamommy for the discount code.

If you want to know more about Christine Foong Wong, you may visit her Facebook Page, System of the Heart or through her organization’s website http://www.rhemaworks.com/

Christine’s seminar will not be possible if not for these kind sponsors. Shout out to Tin, Jen and Kris too for organizing the San Juan event!