I have just gotten home and I am filled with this urge to share you something that I have learned about this weekend. The thing is I really don’t know how to share it but I will try because I want you all to realize that there is a way out of the haze, there is a way out of muddled decision making, there is a way to face your fears head on and to embrace them and that there is a way to be better with how we live our lives.
I attended the Discover Your CORE program of The One Core this weekend. What the program teaches you is how to find clarity through all the noise inside you and outside you in order to come to inner peace and most importantly, inner freedom. I was with a group of good friends who I have had shared so many challenging moments already. They know me well but we are still discovering each other and in the process growing into ourselves all together.
We shared freely our aches and pains but Coach Pia was there to reign us in and to provide us with a framework in order for us to process our pain and to look at them as opportunities for growth.
I’ll try to explain briefly what we were taught. I hope that I do justice to the lessons!!!
Coach Pia first taught us about Inner Work, which was about Motivation, Inspiration, Cheerleading and Kindness/Nurturing. Innerwork is about how well you know yourself. On a scale of 1-5, with 5 being the highest how do you rate yourself? Are you your best motivator? Do you inspire and cheer yourself on? Are you kind to yourself? I rated myself and it made me aware of the gap that I have to work on. I was far from being my own biggest motivator, cheerleader etc. I was far from being kind to myself 🙁 I think I am the harshest on myself some times pa.
The rating allows you to see where your gaps lie. If you know what is clear, then you will be at the highest (5) with MICK/N.
Inner work is a constant process which is a very effective way of checking myself.
Inner work is complemented by the awareness if at any given moment I am not being at my most authentic self, that I am not working out of freedom. The question to ask myself is that am I operating out of fear, doubt, anxiety, pride, anger, frustration etc? Any of these hindrances means that I need to step back because at that point, I am not FREE.
The next step then is to refine the life experience, to pinpoint what is truly causing the issue and to ask myself:
What is CLEAR? your anchor, the one that ranks high in your inner work
What is NOT CLEAR?
The next step is figure out the Obstacles. They can come from WITHIN and WITHOUT. These cause confusion, issue, heaviness, insecurity and pollution from inside and/or outside myself. Obstacles that come from within require more time to resolve. If the hindrances come from without, then I would need a time bound strategy.
The last step is to see if the resolution that I have arrived at represents myself (and to others) without heaviness, guilt, doubt, anger. In short, am I free from the heaviness?
This is the framework we were taught. It seems simple but in order to use we had a lot of exercises because it can only work if we were clear and if we know our identities.
The exercises were HARD. Facing the issues that make you weak in the knees is horrible and painful but it is essential to the process. You know what made it super harder, is actually naming and specifying the issue that is causing you distress and making you react and decide out of fear, doubt, insecurity or anger, frustration and yes even pride.
But I appreciated the process because Coach Pia shared with us some wonderfully wise nuggets of wisdom that made me realize that truly the struggle is part of the story.
Some of the “quotable quotes” that I remember are:
One other exercise which was absolutely essential to me was realizing the power of Forgiveness. Forgiving myself and others. We wrote letters and burned them! It was a symbolic way of letting go. If there is one exercise that I recommend, eto yun. Grabe I felt so light after. Most especially forgiving myself!! I was crying so hard but the tears that came were cleansing and relieving. I am so harsh on myself and forgiving myself for that is just so…di ko ma-explain pero I needed that.
Discover Your Core is an amazing program. Being stuck in a certain mindset for 34 years and knowing that there is a better way of making life decisions is an amazing realization. This last statement is the most empowering for me and I do hope it empowers you too – “Be free knowing you will never be normal”
I said it to myself and I cried because I thought that all the decisions I made (which I feel were mostly all borne out of fear) is to create a “normal” life for myself and my family. I have always talked about our “new normal” and that statement “Be free knowing you will never be normal” took out all the fear of our new life as parents of a child with special needs.
WHEW. Ang bigat but it is what I needed to hear, feel and learn.
Discover Your Core is a blessing. I expected to learn from it, I always learn from Coach Pia anyway but what I never expected is to feel free and excited to face on life’s challenges. Thank you so much Coach Pia, I think I will survive motherhood and adulthood with a better perspective. So when I ask myself, Kamusta na ako? I can genuinely answer that I am fine 🙂
If you’re interested in attending a Discover Your Core weekend visit the One Core website here.
Mom-Friday says
October 21, 2014 at 12:51 pmI missed so much! Big time! 🙁 thanks for sharing this… at least I can do step one with that MICK/N. Yun palang ang hirap na!