The Glass is Half Full

Noah is now 1 year and 4 months old but because he was born premature, he also has a corrected age and going by that he is 1 year and 2 months old.

I’ve always written about how Noah works very hard during his therapy sessions. Fighting through teething, general crankiness, and bad moods, we soldier on knowing that each session is a chance for Noah to be able to do more. We have been blessed that we have therapists who genuinely care for Noah and provide him with lots of love, patience and understanding.

We are proud of what Noah has accomplished. He has been lifting himself up to stand and has started cruising around his crib. We’re now working on his crawling though. Crawling is an important prelude to walking because it reinforces, coordination and core strength. Noah is still wobbly when he is standing but when he’s walking assisted, he is super excited and untiring.

He can also identify colors and can pick out colors between two flashcards his therapist has asked him to pick. He can now recognize shapes. The star is the newest shape we are working on. His teacher Richard has also began introducing animals to him now. His visual vocabulary is certainly growing.

He babbles more frequently and calls on people with sounds but he doesn’t have discernible words yet. He has yet to associate me as Mama, Dan with Dada and so on. He gurgles and babbles and when you talk to him he kinda talks back but in baby talk.

 

But sometimes, I see Noahs’ cousins who are more or less the same age as him and I can’t help but compare even though I know that kids with Ds have a completely different developmental chart. But somehow, seeing his younger cousins call out to their Mama with delightful squeals, being able to grasp toys with so much precision or to see his cousins actually walking…well…

…it stings.

I breathe a little deeper and I have to sigh quietly so that no one hears.

Dan, while driving on our way to work opened up about this too. The holidays were a bit difficult because he too felt how I felt. He saw what I saw.

We both realized how much work lies ahead for our dear little Noah. Knowing that there will be delays and seeing them right in front of you can tug at you so hard. It leaves a lump in your throat and you’re afraid of swallowing it because tears might start to fall.

Although I’ve already decided to throw away the charts and to build on what Noah can do, seeing what he still can’t do has softened my resolve.

It is in this moment of weakness that I appreciate Noah even more. This kid, all 7.6 kilos of him is happy, healthy and content.  He has come so far and everyday he shows Dan and me how much farther he can go. He will do what he can do. And he will do it when he’s ready. Dan and I will be there to push and encourage and to the best of our ability, provide him with the tools he needs to be the best that he can be.

We know that the sting will never go away. We know it will always be there just waiting and looking for an opportune time to strike.  But now that we’ve felt it, we know better how to handle it.

We will choose to celebrate his milestones, regardless of how many he achieves and when he achieves them.

We will choose to count the can’s and not the cannots.

We will cheer for him from the sidelines and we will cheer with him when he hits his goals.

Because no matter what happens, Noah IS Noah and Noah is enough.

Go Team Noah!