Glad You’re Here :)

When Noah was born, I was already blogging here at manilamommy.com.It was an unexpected delivery, I gave birth to Noah with my tshirt still on at the delivery room because the doctors wanted Noah out of my tummy and into the NICU to ensure his survival. While at the NICU, the only way I could stay calm and sane was to write. I had my old office issued BlackBerry then and I would type posts continuously. Some remained as drafts that never saw light of day. Some went live on this blog.

During that one month while we were waiting for Noah’s karyotype results. I had to think if I should share this journey in my blog too. I hesitated to be honest because I really did not know how I would write about being a parent of a child like Noah. I wanted to protect Noah, that the disclosure of the diagnosis could be too much for me to handle. But I have always been forthright about my writing. I shared my family here for the past couple of years so why shouldn’t I share Noah?

I never really thought about the repercussions of opening up this part of my family’s life. As with a lot of my own personal decisions, it was always 50% “bahala na”. When I shared about Noah, his NICU stay and his diagnosis, I received an email from a mom whose daughter had the same doctor as Noah, who also stayed in the NICU and who was also diganosed with Ds. The little girl however had a very rare heart condition. The mom wrote to me because she remembered her own experience. Our paths only differed in that Noah made it and her little girl didn’t.

I  cried upon reading the mom’s message to me (it was a facebook PM). It was the kind of cry that hurt my head and my heart. As in yung iyak na hagulgol. Ang sakit. While crying, I was also praying and asking the Lord if He was showing me another reason to be thankful and joyful. I asked him if he sent this mom to me to show that I should be rejoicing instead of grieving.

I looked at Noah. He IS my answered prayer.

And so I forge on and I write in this little piece of cyber real-estate that I call home. I have always said that  my hope is that because our story is out here that maybe one mom would feel less alone.

And I have received emails again from parents and family members eager to know more about Down syndrome and I answer back. I feel their worries and anxieties. These are things that are still fresh to me at times. I pray with them most especially the little ones who have to undergo surgery.

I have shared with friends about my hesitation of this new “role” that I unconsciously found myself in. I want to do right by these parents who come to me.

And the best way I know how now is to just tell our story. To tell them that yes it will be challenging and the road ahead will be fraught with fear but you just have to hold on. KAPIT LANG. Sama-sama tayo. You will find your own way soon enough.

Even if the road of a family with special needs is different, it is not impossible. And the one thing that you should never ever lose? HOPE.

Hope woke me up in the morning to a baby swaddled tightly who needed my cuddles and love. Hope is the sunshine streaming into our room telling me that another day has begun and so has our new life. Hope is the loving embrace of my family and friends encouraging us and cheering us on. Hope is the gift of a new community who has welcomed us with open arms. Hope is that little voice I always hear telling me everything will be alright. Even if that voice is sometimes muffled by my fears and anxieties, I look for that voice and I listen, and I believe.

So to you who’s here right now because you feel lost, I hope that this brief visit allowed you to rest, regroup and recharge.

If you’re needing a huge dose of hope and encouragement today please go ahead and click on this lovely link (and a lovely blog too). Grab a box of tissues because you will be needing it 😉 To Parents with a Down Syndrome Diagnosis: Keep Dreaming Big 

And to you who’s always here — Thank You! It is very humbling to know that my words make sense to someone else other than my husband (who also clicks on all the ads here in website haha! Love you Dan).  I will keep writing, posting, tweeting, instagramming and what not. Writing about our journey is its own journey and thank you so much for allowing me to share my story

I am so glad you’re all here!