Pamana ni Nanay

Growing up, one of the things that my mom would always tell me is “Papunta ka pa lang, pabalik na ako”. I don’t know when my mom told me this the first time but I know that it was probably when I was being rebellious . I was for sure being a smart ass and I was trying (unsuccessfully) to bluff my way through a lame excuse because I broke curfew. I probably heard that line once a week at least because I was always trying to get out of the house. I hated being told this but it was my mom’s way of telling me that she knew all the tricks of the trade and she knows what I’m up to. So yun, lagi akong huli. Lagi akong grounded hahaha.

Right now “Papunta ka pa lang, pabalik na ako” now holds new meaning for me because everything that I need to know about motherhood, I am learning from my mom. Her advice are priceless and I love that we talk more now.  Most of the time though  words aren’t even necessary, she just knows when and where to pick me up from where I’ve stumbled and she guides me along until I can find my way again. I can never forget those mornings when she’d scoop up David (when he was a baby) from beside me so that I could sleep in. I would always wake up startled because I couldn’t feel David beside me and I’d find her and David sunning themselves in the veranda. I will forever be grateful for the words she shared with me when Dan and I were reeling from Noah’s potential diagnosis of Ds. I will always remember her crying because she was so worried about Noah but at the same time cleaning up and sprucing up our room in time for Noah’s arrival because I was just too weak to function then. We are by no means a rich family but this Mother’s Day, allow me to share with you three priceless treasures that I carry with me on my journey to motherhood –mga pamana ng aking nanay 🙂

1. Lakas ng Loob

I remember when I was in grade school and we moved into our 2nd rental. It was a few years into our house in 11th Ave., Cubao that my parents took out a loan from a bank so we could build our own house in a small subdivision.It was a huge step for our family and it was also exciting. What I didn’t realize was how hard it was to pay the mortgage while sending three kids to exclusive private catholic schools, paying off the rent and groceries. But my parents did it. And they built the house without hiring a contractor too. My parents took over that role and my mom was the payroll master among other things.

When I got married,  my mom told me that “Lakas ng Loob” is what I needed to have. It was her “lakas ng loob” that fueled her to go on and build our own house with my dad. It makes sense to me now that Dan and I are paying off a mortgage ourselves. It makes even more sense now that I am a mom because I finally understand that sometimes “Lakas ng Loob” is the only thing I have going for me.

For now, I am still filling up a reservoir of courage just in case  I would need a cup or two when I’m facing a tough decision. Sometimes I know my mom drops a liter or two to help me along. Salamat mommy 🙂

2. Lumaban ka

If you have a mom like mine, then you probably grew up in an eternal cringefest over arguments with cashiers, baggers, etc. My mom demanded good customer service — in the 80s and 90s where customer feedback here in Manila was probably unheard of. She knew her rights and she fought for them. I would always slink away whenever an episode like this would erupt. Ha! Well what do you know, when you’re a mom you HAVE to fight. There is no other option. My previous issue with a supermarket chain is just one example. I do think though my approach is different because when I was relaying the supermarket brouhaha to my mom she remarked “Ang bait mo pa nga e, kung ako yan inaway ko na talaga sila” hahaha. Eh feel na feel kong nang-aaway na ako nun 😛 But yes, I learned from my mom that when you’re in the right, you have to fight!

3. Maging Mabuting Kabiyak

Being a good wife does not mean being docile and domesticated. No way Jose! Hello my mom was far from that. I am learning from my mom that being the better half means making the tough calls when the going gets tough. It’s making sure the scales are balanced in your relationship and for that to happen, you need to compromise. Syempre, you can’t avoid arguments and huge blow outs but they are inevitable and you have to work through them. I hated hearing my parents fight growing up but it was also good that they didn’t hide their fights from us kids. It made me realize that arguments happen in any healthy relationship. Pag umabot ka na sa dulo ng pasensya mo e pasensyahan na talaga. But these fights are few and far between. What I love really is seeing my parents play off each other. 36 years of marriage have not dulled their sense of fun too. My mom still laughs at all my dad’s jokes maski sabihin nyang corny si daddy and my dad loves making my mom laugh. It kinda reminds me of how me and Dan are at times and I find that thought very reassuring and that somehow we’re on the right path.

Mother’s Day has come and gone but I will forever be grateful to my mom for teaching me these three things. I sincerely hope that I could be half as good as she is when it comes to being a mom and a wife. If I could use one more cliche to end this post “Marami pa akong kakaining bigas” — buti na lang masarap magsaing nanay ko.

But really, I seriously hope I do my momma proud and I promise to never stop learning and to never ever waste her inheritance.

P.S.

And mom, thank you so much for loving me and Dan and for loving David and Noah so much and so fiercely. Both boys are growing up in such a wonderful and supportive home and I love that they both know that they are loved. Thank you thank you thank you.

How about you mommies? Ano ang pamana sa inyo ng inyong mga nanay na dala nyo ngayon?

This post is also sponsored by Ceelin Philippines. David’s vitamins and mine growing up! If you haven’t seen their Mother’s Day surprise video  yet, I posted it below.  Take out your tissues first, it’s guaranteed to leave you teary-eyed 🙂