That time has come when BDW and I have begun talking about expanding our little trio. When BDW and I were planning our wedding, we also talked about how many kids we’d like to have. The consensus three years ago was three kids. That decision came naturally because both of us came from a family of five and both of us had two other siblings. BDW has two sisters (he’s the middle child) and I have two brothers (i’m the oldest). DW just turned two last November and a lot of people have begun asking us — actually no, TELLING us — “pwede ng sundan” (you can now add one more). Honestly that remark has become a wee bit annoying for me. However since that comment always follows another comment on how DW is growing up to be such a smart and handsome fellow, I’ve taken that as a compliment 😛
That comment though, “pwede ng sundan”, sends my head into a tailspin as a multitude of questions and doubts begin to fill my head. My concerns revolve around finances (can we afford a second child?), my parenting skills (or lack thereof) and if I’m strong enough to go through my experience with DW and the post-natal blues that I had to fight back so hard during my first few months of becoming a mom. Hopefully the last one won’t come back because man that was such a tough hill to climb (worse, I didn’t burn any calories doing so haha)
BDW, bless his heart is confident that we can pull through and I wish I share his confidence. So I ask you, how did you decide that you’re ready to expand your family? I have yet to ask my parents about this (and I should now I think about it DUH) but I do want to hear how you made that leap and said yes to a larger family and to baby number X? Conversely, how did you decide that an only kid is all that you need? (side note: I’d like to share with you this interesting article by Time about how more and more US parents are now choosing to have one kid – Only-Child Myths Persist as More Parents Choose One Kid)
As an advance thank you, here’s one of my favorite scenes from the Sound of Music. Hope the Lonely Goatherd becomes your LSS this Monday morning! LOL!
I look forward to all your comments guys 😀 Thanks in advance!
image came from here
Abby Sasscer says
October 25, 2011 at 9:15 amHi Neva,
I’m a Filipina living in the US and my hubby and I have 3 children. We homeschool and live on one income (we aren’t rich, we just live simply). We’ve always prayed about “the right time” to have more children. My first child was very high need I had severe post partum depression and I must admit, I was very scared to have another one. But then she grew up and we knew in our hearts that our Lord wanted us to have another baby. The reason we always wanted to pray about it is because we felt we couldn’t make permanent decisions based on temporary situations (financial, emotional, physical). Our childbearing years are only here for a season. Case in point, hubby and I wanted to have at least 4 children but after the birth of our third child, I developed a serious heart condition that would make any future pregnancies very risky. It was then that we realized that fertility is a precious gift and can be taken away from us at any time. I am very thankful for my 3 children and more thankful to our Lord that we decided to cooperate with His grace so that, even if we can’t give our children everything they ever wanted in this world, we were able to give them the gift of faith and the gift of siblings. God Bless!!!
PS. – We’re Catholics so we used Natural Family Planning to space all our children (4 years apart). None of them were “oops” babies so we know by experience that NFP truly does work !!!!!! (-:
Chris says
January 24, 2011 at 4:10 pmwell, i came from a family of five and my hubby came from a family of five too.. but when we talked when we got married, we both agreed that 2 is enough.. we both wanted our kid to have a sibling so we agreed that 2 would be enough..
timing? well, i was the one who actually told hubby that i wanted to have another baby already because i wanted to give birth on or before I reached 30… i was thinking that pregnancy and recovery would be easier for me by that time and I wanted my kids to grow up with just the right age gap (almost 3 years).
of course financial concerns were always on our mind, but I know that worrying would not help.. so we just needed to be wiser with budgeting and I know that God would take care of our needs too.
hope this helps!
toni says
January 22, 2011 at 1:01 pmMy main consideration for having another baby is that I want Timmy to grow up with a companion. Aren’t siblings the best? Even if we’ve had our share of fights, we always stick together.
Like you, the finances scare me too. Gosh, everything times two right? Eek!
We definitely want another baby. It’s just a matter of “when.” I have a feeling it’ll be next year.
Oh, sharing one lovely line with you from the awesome book Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist: “There’s no such thing as ready. Only willing.”
And with that, I say, baby na! Haha!
manilamommy says
January 23, 2011 at 12:05 amhey toni! haha i love that line, i am willing too, it’s really just a matter of when!
maqui says
January 17, 2011 at 9:43 pmhi neva, share ko lang. before i got married,i only wanted one kid. however, after talking to officemates who don’t have siblings, I realized that life is sometimes tougher for them, esp later on in life. first, if one parent dies, they must always think of the welfare of their living parent before making major decisions like grabbing an opportunity to work abroad.second, helping their parents pay their bills, say for a major surgery, would be their lone responsibility.
Ay napahaba na. our plan is to have another child when our first born is about 6-7 years old, that way, Kuya is somewhat mature enough to understand, share toys and look after the bunso.
manilamommy says
January 18, 2011 at 10:47 amhey maqui 🙂 thanks so much for your insight! i’ve never thought about the responsibilities an only child has to face with his/her older parents. good point 🙂