( This post is a continuation of Coach Pia’s sessions on Building Healthier Relationships. You can see the first post here)
Sabi ni Coach Pia, negativity is a result of not being able to live out one’s values. And I believe her, I actually see it now. Going to my ever reliable example of the uber stressful former job that I had, I was a major negastar and a real Debbie Downer. Honestly, being negative was so much easier. Being positive and keeping my chin up when the going gets tough is a harder mindset to develop — but that’s the magic word, I can develop it and work on it. I want to have that disposition and mindset that will attract positive energy. Most importantly, I want to exude positivity to my kids. I want that the voice that they hear in their head when they think about me is positive, encouraging, safe and secure (ayan naiiyak naman ako)
Coach Pia, shared with us three things that would help us kick negativity in the ass:
Positivity is Key in Being Rid of Negativity
Pretty obvious I know but these are the things that have been right in front of me most of the time but I have just failed (hmm refused) to see them. Also, I now realize that I lack the effort to actually convert this nugget of truth from theory to reality. Haay. So if you’re like me and you want to rid yourself of negativity, we need to be aware of our core values (Thanks Coach Pia for that exercise).
Our ability to live our core values shape our relationships and therefore the lives that we want. Sometimes though there are gaps between what we have now and what we have planned out. Awareness of the gap between the actual and the ideal allows us to reassess and recalibrate.
Connected to this is the awareness of our own patterns. I see it as habits. Negativity is a habit. The thinking and mindset brought about by being negative is a bad habit and I have to break it lest I become whiny and toxic , which frankly takes soooo much energy.
Negativity is a Contagious Energy
True that. If I met myself two years ago I’d probably give myself a good smack to the side of my head. I dragged people down with my negativity and my constant whining. I should probably apologize to my friends and family too for being such a Debbie Downer 🙁
In the Face Of Negativity be the One to Change
Eto naaaa. I think this is the ultimate test of being able to overcome negativity. The ability to be change, assess the person and the situation and be the positive force. I think after nito dapat may halo na ako haha but seriously, it takes a lot of effort. I understand why negativity has become an easy escape for me at times because being positive takes awareness and effort – loads and loads and buckets and buckets of effort!
So are you with me on this? Here are Coach Pia’s tips on staying positive in the face of negativity:
Let Go, Forgive, Change and be Humble – even if you don’t know the reason but you know the relationship is over, JUST LET GO
Your incentive is You – negativity manifests, will you be a better person if you change?
Put Things in Perspective, Life is Too Short – BOOM.
Easier said than done I knoowww!! I keep myself “conditioned” by surrounding myself with positive people and by reading quotes that just speak of positivity. They provide me with that extra spring in my step when the temptation to drag my heels is tooo strong.
Coach Pia is just too awesome and I love learning from her. I am thankful that I have the opportunity to share what I have learned too via this blog but I would love to learn about how you deal with negativity! So how about you? How do you handle negativity? What would you add to Coach Pia’s tips?
Thank you once again to Unilab, Charlie’s Pritchon and Swell Sweets! (Get their contact details here)